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The Sex And The City fandom is still not over Miranda Hobbes, and with very good reason. She’s the most relatable one in the squad, has a crackling wit, and is the timeless, no-nonsense role model any modern woman needs as her spirit guide. But her path to self-fulfillment hasn’t been easy

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In spite of being empowered and self-reliant, there have been several moments in the show and the films where she was treated unfairly and was coerced into doing something she didn’t want to do. She was ahead of her times in so many ways and her sharp wit was only appreciated by very few people. 

10 Faced Misogyny At Work

Miranda’s story was a true look into how corporate misogyny works and how it keeps women down even when they’re really good at what they do. Miranda’s case was hugely unfair, because she worked tremendously hard to make partner at her firm only to be mocked for working long hours and giving herself away to her job. In SATC 2, the movie, she has a sexist boss who would disregard her opinions and would actually take her cases away from her. And while Miranda was able to put her foot down and could afford to quit, many women in her position obviously can’t.

9 Struggled To Find A Man Who Wasn’t Intimidated 

Miranda realized much later on that men are not always looking for a sorted, self-reliant, well-settled lawyer in a power suit and her career could actually make men leave her. This was a wake-up call for her considering she wanted a good partner too.

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This was somewhat visible in most of Miranda’s romantic relationships and though Steve was obviously okay with what she did, most men she dated would eventually get cold feet at the idea of dating a person who’s more successful than them. At one point Miranda had to fake her job and tell her date she was a stewardess just so they could spend some time together

8 Always Had To Be The One Who Made The Sacrifices

In season 2, Miranda and Steve try very hard to see each other amid a complicated schedule; since Steve works nights and Miranda has to work in the day. But Miranda makes the most effort, and even feels guilty if she didn’t stay up for Steve. Millennial fans were quick to point out that it should be both their problem and though Steve acknowledged it, he didn’t do anything about it. Miranda was the one who had to learn to navigate their time, with the help of five cups of coffee and a very early alarm, but it was clear that she was the one doing all the work. This was a singular case but this set a pattern for the future of her relationship when she was the one who had to be the adult, especially after she became a mother.

7 Couldn’t Leave Her Social Circle

This one’s actually a problem for most adults over 30+, because for most adults it’s difficult to make new friends and actually build a steady camaraderie. Which is why many people stick with the friends they made when they were teens or in their early 20s. A good pop culture example would be Jess and Cece’s friendship from New Girl.

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The point is, Miranda loved her friends, but they did not challenge her intellectually, and were definitely not equipped in keeping up with her in terms of cerebral pursuits or other ambitions. But she was also aware that she probably couldn’t make such good friends anymore and the sisterhood obviously helped her, so she stuck with them.

6 Had To Give In To Pressure About Motherhood

Miranda was definitely not ready to be a Mom when she was; in fact, right before she realized she was pregnant, Miranda and Steve had a conversation which revealed that she did not want a child at that point. But the fact that she felt like she had to keep the child in spite of not really wanting to, is sad and maybe she just needed some honest advice or an ally, because she was already considering abortion. But her friends were no help and neither was Steve who obviously wanted a kid. Miranda probably had some personal anxieties about her own age as well, but it’s really sad that she would be forced to dismiss what she wants for her own life.

5 Made To Look Like A Bad Mom

Miranda’s struggle to balance her career and her personal life was a major theme of her personal arc but it really shouldn’t have been. Miranda was a bona fide career woman, she loved her job, she had set major, steady goals to get ahead. And she never talked about wanting a family as much as she talked about being a partner in her firm.

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And that’s fine, not all women need to have the same priorities, but she was often made to look like a bad mom when she would prioritize her career over her family. As a result, she always worked impossibly hard to find some balance and she shouldn’t have to choose between her high-flying job and being a mother. In a way manipulated into thinking she’s a bad mum for not spending time with her son, which further proves that this was not the life she had envisioned for herself.

4 She Was A Victim Of A Patriarchal Society

Let’s remember that Miranda never wanted to fight Mr. Right, and in a memorable scene in Season 2 she even admits that maybe someone is out there and maybe there isn’t but she’s not ready to make herself miserable thinking about it. But she was made to feel bad about her singledom several times and not just by her friends but this was just how her character was positioned even if she was happy with breezy flings. If she was single on the show, she was made to look pathetic or sad. She also probably wouldn’t have stayed with Steve and had gotten married to him if they hadn’t had a child, because she had often pointed out that they were really different, so in many ways Miranda was just a victim of patriarchal designs that is not an ally to a single, self-fulfilled woman.

3 She Was Guilt-Tripped For Considering Abortion

Charlotte and Miranda have a lot of differences but things got really messy when Miranda went to her friends to seek advice about her pregnancy. What she needed was some guidance and some loving comfort and sisterhood but all she got was panic and a really inappropriate meltdown by Charlotte.

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Charlotte actually screams at Miranda because she was considering abortion because Charlotte herself was struggling so hard to conceive a child. This was problematic on so many levels and made the fans feel really bad fort Miranda. 

2 Carrie Blamed Her For Being Stood Up

Fans still don’t believe that Carrie would actually stop talking to one of her closest confidantes just because Mr. Big had decided to be a bad guy… once again. In the SATC movie, Big stands up Carrie at the altar. At the rehearsal dinner the night before, Miranda mumbles a warning to Big after a big fight with Steve, which perhaps Big takes seriously although he had other reasons not to show up for his wedding. When Miranda comes clean to Carrie about this, Carrie lashes out at her and even stops talking to her. This was really hard on Miranda because she was made to feel solely responsible for Carrie’s pain when Big already had cold feet about the wedding.

1 Had To Let Go Of Her Individualistic Style

Nineties Miranda was a total pathbreaker, specifically in terms of fashion. She had a discerning androgynous fashion sense which was rather defiant, considering she was friends with Carrie Bradshaw who’s all about frills and faux fur. She also had a keen focus on wearing off-brand, edgy, numbers as opposed to Samantha or Carrie’s expensive couture. But as the show progressed Miranda steered away from her own sense of styling; it’s possible she adapted a different wardrobe to fit in with her friend circle, but at the end of SATC 2 Miranda dressed almost exactly like her other friends and fans have often hoped that she would go back to her original, edgy fashion sense because it actually made her stand out.

NEXT: Sex & The City: 5 Ways The Main Characters Changed For The Better (& 5 For The Worse)

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