New Girl captured the hearts of Zooey Deschanel fans and more from the moment the pilot aired back in 2011. However, it would be an injustice to say that Zooey’s character Jess was the only character that made this long-running TV sitcom so beloved.
Jake Johnson’s Nick Miller, Max Greenfield’s Winston Schmidt, Lamorne Morris’s whimsical Winston, Hannah Simone’s Cece, and Damon Wayans Jnr’s Coach all crept into the hearts of viewers over the show’s seven-year run. All these characters had their fair share of terrible dates during the show, so let’s take a look at some of the worst first dates the characters had to endure.
10 Jess: Dice Date
In a season four episode titled “Dice,” Schmidt teaches Jess all about the world of modern, mobile-app dating. Jess ends up using the app to go on several dates, each with disastrous comedic outcomes.
The worst date in the lot, which counts as a first date, has to go to the unnamed character, who, on their date, admits to having no money. He takes Jess back to his apartment where he walks on his treadmill while starting Jess down in total silence.
9 Winston: I Will Be Your Father Figure
Quite possibly one of the funniest and most memorable Winston Bishop moments was his date with an unnamed character at a restaurant patio table. Winston and his date are unwillingly the victims of a shirtless, homeless man who takes it upon himself to belt out his rendition of George Michael’s hit “Father Figure.” It’s a classic flashback moment, which to this day fans of the show are too fond of recreating for their friends at dinner time scenarios.
8 Nick & Jess: First Double Date
Once Nick and Jess finally become an item for the first time, they make plans to go on a double date with Cece and Schmidt. The first red flag here for a first double date is that they invited Winston along. The evening, despite Winston’s presence, had all the potential to be a great first double date… until Jess finds out that Schmidt was cheating on Cece with Elizabeth.
Schmidt pulls out all the stops to keep Cece from finding out through a series of hilarious moments in which he attempts to keep her away from Jess. However, Schmidt is eventually forced to come clean to Cece, and the two break things off before anyone even sits down at the dinner table.
7 Schmidt: Nadia Breaks Schmidt
Who could forget the time when Schmidt tried his utmost best to make Cece jealous after they broke up? Cece tries her hardest to act as though she doesn’t care what Schmidt does or with whom, but he gets the better of her when he asks Nadia out.
Or does he? The Russian model and Schmidt engage in a disastrous first and last date which ends with Schmidt in the hospital after Nadia injures a crucial part of his anatomy.
6 Jess: Flip and Nancy
Season five, episode two, “What About Fred,” sees Jess attempt to re-enter the dating pool. She meets a dud, played by Taran Killam, who lives with his folks and is about as exciting as watching wet paint dry.
Things get hilariously complicated when Jess begins to “fall in love” with Fred’s parents, Flip and Nancy, played by Henry Winkler and Julie Hagerty. Things get even more fun when Winston is thrown into the mix, who also starts falling for the parents of the poor Fred.
5 Winston: Rhonda’d!
Leading up to Schmidt and Cece’s wedding, Winston was required to prove that his wedding plus one was more than just that, a plus one. Enter Rhonda (Sonequa Martin-Green), who just like Prank Sinatra, you guessed it, loves pranks. In an effort to prove to Schmidt and Cece that they’re serious, the two pranksters decide to have a “prank wedding.”
The catch? They really get married, with plans to annul the wedding the very next day, but Rhonda gets called up for military duty, leaving the two married for the foreseeable future.
4 Jess: TinFinity Party With Jax McTavish
During a period in Jess’s life where she was on the hunt for a man who’s more open to expressing his feelings, Jess meets a football player named Jax McTavish. She takes him along to a party hosted by Schmidt and Nick celebrating their tenth anniversary of living together. It goes well at first until Jess realizes she might have bitten off more than she can chew when Jax publicly declares his love for her.
3 Nick: Halloween
In season two, episode six, “Halloween,” Nick prepares to meet his college crush, Amelia. When she visits him in Los Angeles, the two quickly act upon their mutual feelings.
During the episode, Jess has a job at a Halloween haunted house which Nick and Amelia attend. The problem, however, is that Amelia immediately becomes too clingy for the awkward Nick, who tries his best to dump her throughout the episode and eventually blurts out that he doesn’t want to be with her in front of everyone. Yikes.
2 Winston: Cat “Date”
Whimsical Winston strikes again in what might be one of the funniest first date scenarios in the entire show. In the episode “The Captain,” Winston goes out looking for a partner for his cat, Ferguson. Along the way, he meets a pretty girl who clearly flirts with him, but Winsont thinks she’s talking about getting their cats together.
The humor is taken to the highest (or lowest) level possible when Winston asks her how often she grooms her cat. When Ferguson’s “date” arrives, Winston is still completely oblivious to the fact that the owner of his cat’s “date” is indeed interested in him.
1 Schmidt: First Date With Fawn Moscato
In season four, episode twelve, “Shark,” Schmidt is tasked by the loft roomies to try and recruit Councilwoman Fawn Moscato’s help to stop the night construction which has been plaguing them every night.
Schmidt, who meets Moscato at Winston’s graduation from the police academy, is smitten and agrees to do this by taking the fierce councilwoman on a date. Instead, Schmidt is seduced and tricked into taking Moscato’s side, who is desperate to beat Jess in her campaign to stop the construction.